Motherhood. A Busman's holiday?
Sixteen years. I'd been working exactly half my life when I started my maternity leave. Fifteen years of those years as an administrative professional and ten of those as a PA.
My career was my life. Starting as a Receptionist and working my way up to the PA to the CEO and Office Manager at a Women's Equality Charity. After all those years of hard graft I was in need of a break. I naively thought that maternity leave would be a bit of a holiday for me. Brunches and play dates with friends, I'd be a lady of leisure for 11months. Not only is being a mother a full time job (which I was not prepared for), I can't quite quit the day job either.
My colleagues are also friends so during a whats app catch up I often find myself asking about work, offering suggestions and solutions to issues and checking if things are going well. I can't seem to let go, and after a lunch to introduce my baby to the team I found myself logging on to a laptop to access files as a colleague needed help.
This is not the career break I thought it would be.
Learning how to switch off has been really hard and just over three months in the curve is mighty steep.
I thought my organisation skills from work would translate into motherhood. I thought I'd be able to control the days at home like I controlled the days in the office. The lack of structure has been scary and overwhelming but slowly and surely I've managed to embrace the loss of control and just...go with the flow.
I'm determined to use some of my hard earned skills to help me get through these tough days as a first time mother. I've come to think of my baby as my Executive, I'm there to ensure she has the best possible experience in the office that is our home.
My daughter is that troublesome Executive who never follows the perfectly put together schedule I put together. We all know those bosses, the ones who disregard the itinerary in favour of a seemingly more important meeting that they "forgot" to tell you about. Or the Exec who is never quite happy with the work you did. Not realising the effort that went into managing their hectic life.
How did I handle those situations at work? By being as flexible as possible and not taking it personally.
That's what I try to do at home. She might scream at me when I don't do something quick enough for her and everything is urgent AND important, but that's how it is when you're the boss. Tiana is my new boss and boy do I know it.
I'm also upgrading my firefighting skills. Vomit and poop, no problem. Screaming fits? Been there done that and got the stained t-shirt.
I head back to work in October and I'm hoping that these new found skills I've developed as a mum will translate into the job I know like the back of my hand.
I'm trying not to stress too much about returning to work as there will be a whole load of new challenges as that day rolls around. I expect there will be more posts to follow as I navigate the world of working and being a mummy. Until then, if you excuse me, the boss is calling...I mean bawling.